Curiously enough, it was a picture from a book "Organic and Chic: Cakes, Cookies, and Other Sweets That Taste as Good as They Look" by Sarah Magid that made me think about imperfection in life. As I turned the page and saw this picture I couldn't help but ask myself why the objects in this photo weren't prepared and arranged to perfection as is always the case with this kind of books?
It struck me almost immediately that my reaction came from this profound, insecure, vulnerable place that pushes me to strive to perfection and tragically enough never achieve it. This place was created very early on by the people that influenced my life: parents, teachers, even friends. "This is not good enough! Why didn't you try harder!? You can do better!" were some of the phrases I heard often, even when I was good - but apparently not good enough. The oddest thing of all is that I continued to beat myself up trough my entire life and showed no mercy for mistakes. Talking about a masochist!
Maybe some of you already know that imperfections make life beautiful and interesting. I can't get rid of a feeling that I should apologize all the time for my oh! so imperfect self and life. The pressure is even bigger nowadays with all the technologies that one should use and master perfectly. It's all too much: education, job, relationships, children, house, car, gadgets, looks, parenting, money, even blogging. Yes, blogging too. And I'm not going to go in the details about it, you already know what I'm talking about.
By searching on the Internet to see what other people think about imperfections, I stumbled upon Yasmin Ahmad, a film director, writer and scriptwriter from Malaysia whose video, actually a TV commercial, made me laugh, cry and think. She once said about imperfections: "I wept recognising that no one was perfect, and that if we expected to be loved for all our imperfections, why are we so reluctant to accept and forgive the imperfections of others?" Be sure to watch this video from the beginning to the end.
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8 comments:
My feelings that I can never do anything as well as others has held me back my entire life but no more. I was afraid to start my blog because of this but have forced myself to go forward and I am glad I did. You have such good thoughtful blogs...thank you for sharing your deep thoughts.
You would love reading the works of Brenee Brown. It was a revelation for me and helped work on my feelings of inadequacy.
since i was an only child, i have faced with a lot of expectations by my parents. it's not a bad thing because it made me become a responsible and independent being. however, it was only last year that i realized that it's okay to not be "perfect"...that it's okay to not do what is expected of me all the time.
these thoughts of yours are so true. and i can so relate. life is indeed more beautiful because of our imperfections---it is more REAL :)
Your philosophical musings are so right. It's the imperfections that make us (and things) beautiful. Perfection is boring. At least that is what I tell myself - and what helps me cope with not being perfect. Ok, we strive for perfection, but even if we don't reach it, we still are or produce beauty. That IS good enough!
@Sherri: I too have created my blog in 2008 and then waited 1 year before starting to write! Your comments are always so nice, thank you.
@Imene: I went searching immediately and found a lots about Brené Brown, and I ordered her book. Thank you so much for this information!
@Ibyang: I know too that this expectations helped me become a strong and responsible person. However, this feeling of not being good enough wouldn't go away. I'm still working on it.
@Sonja: Beauty and perfection can be boring, you are so right. Ergo, I'm not boring ;-)
Well, apologizing is definitely a Canadian thing!
I think - actually, I know - I'm too hard on myself for a lot of things. But I can't change... that said, I'm far from being perfect. Phew. :-)
ithink most people are very hard on themself.. and learn to control it.. life is something u learn all the time
@Recipe man: you're so right about life and learning!
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