About Those Lemons Life Gave Me

Well, I must say, I had my share of lemons and I haven't always been able to make lemonade from them. But I surely learned quickly enough that you have to deal with the cards you are dealt. Or, as someone said : "It is not the cards you are dealt, but is how you play them." You can sit and complain about it and wait for change to happen, eventually. Or you can grab the bull by the horns and make something out of it, sometimes even make the best of it. And I sat and cried, believe me, often enough. And I complained about injustice and bad luck. It didn't change a thing. So I wiped my tears, analyzed my options, took a best guess and acted upon it. Oh, yes, it's infinitely easier not to move at all and to let yourself drown in self pity. But it is also a spiral staircase down to not worthy existence. The choice is always yours and you always have one.

Image source : Etsy

In the last 12 months or so, my life changed drastically after leaving a job that made me totally unhappy. It was as if the ground under my feet disappeared. I was standing on the crossroads with no signposts. I was looking for directions and I found them not outside, but inside of me. The long road took me on the journey to a completely new territory. I lowered my expectations towards myself (I'm so happy about it now), I got a new diploma (I'm so happy about it now too), I sent my new resume to places I wanted to work for (boy, am I happy about this one now!) and I didn't know until recently if I did the right thing or not. It turns out, I passed all the exams for all the jobs I wanted and now I get to choose the place I would like to work for. My head is spinning like crazy in the last 2 weeks, I can't believe that this is happening to ME!  I finally get to drink that lemonade I made from all those lemons life gave me...

About Those Lemons Life Gave Me

Message From the Past

What a lovely surprise! As I was organizing my stuff in my sewing room I found a lovely message written probably more than a decade ago. It was engraved carefully in a piece of red tailor's chalk with child's hand.

This is one side of the chalk:

And here is the surprise on the other side:

I can't believe I never saw it before! I was moved to tears (but than again, this happens fairly easy in my case). Just lovely! I'm almost certain that it was my daughter who did this as she loved playing by my side while I was sewing. This little discovery made me happy instantly and put a permanent smile on my face...

Message From the Past

Beautifully Imperfect Life

Curiously enough, it was a picture from a book "Organic and Chic: Cakes, Cookies, and Other Sweets That Taste as Good as They Look" by Sarah Magid that made me think about imperfection in life. As I turned the page and saw this picture I couldn't help but ask myself why the objects in this photo weren't prepared and arranged to perfection as is always the case with this kind of books?

It struck me almost  immediately that my reaction came from this profound, insecure, vulnerable place that pushes me to strive to perfection and tragically enough never achieve it. This place was created very early on by the people that influenced my life: parents, teachers, even friends. "This is not good enough! Why didn't you try harder!? You can do better!" were some of the phrases I heard often, even when I was good - but apparently not good enough. The oddest thing of all is that I continued to beat myself up trough my entire life and showed no mercy for mistakes. Talking about a masochist! 

Maybe some of you already know  that imperfections  make life beautiful and interesting. I can't get  rid of a feeling that I should apologize all the time for my oh! so imperfect self and life. The pressure is even bigger nowadays with all the technologies that one should use and master perfectly. It's all too much: education, job, relationships, children, house, car, gadgets, looks, parenting, money, even blogging. Yes, blogging too. And I'm not going to go in the details about it, you already know what I'm talking about.

By searching on the Internet to see what other people think about imperfections, I stumbled upon Yasmin Ahmad, a  film director, writer and scriptwriter from Malaysia whose video, actually a TV commercial, made me laugh, cry and think. She once said about imperfections: "I wept recognising that no one was perfect, and that if we expected to be loved for all our imperfections, why are we so reluctant to accept and forgive the imperfections of others?" Be sure to watch this video from the beginning to the end.

Beautifully Imperfect Life

Living as a couple in a foreign country

I just got back from the local radio station where I was invited for an interview. The hostess prepares a mini-series about different aspects of immigrant women's lives in Quebec. She wanted me to talk about what it meant for my couple to live in Quebec in comparison to our country. This was not my first interview on the radio and it wasn't live so I was not so nervous and it all went well. On my way back home I continued to think about other things that I could have said or expressed in a different way. And then I was suddenly overwhelmed by so many memories, so many challenges life gave us, I could have filled hours and days talking about it. Our life was changed drastically several times, we had to flee from danger, learn foreign languages, cultures and customs, change professions, overcome numerous other obstacles. At the same time, we tried to live as normally as possible in order to offer a happy childhood to our children. No, I won't cry, but seriously, i have to fight tears writing this. Yes, it was difficult, but I was more than blessed to have to do it with the man on my side who never stopped holding my hand since we were 19...

And even if so many things changed in our life as a couple, that was the one true thing that remained the same throughout all the experiences. And  for that I'm grateful...
Back to the radio interview: if you are by any chance interested to listen to  this radio program, tune in on radio CKIA on the  February 24, 2010 at 1 pm Eastern Time (USA and Canada). The program is called 'Égalité: genre féminin' and it's in French.

P.S. I love you!

Living as a couple in a foreign country

Longing for one more journey

My daughter called me yesterday morning, she was worried about me and she wanted to know why there were no posts on my blog for several days in a row. She is my most  avid follower. She caught me unprepared, I was searching for the right words to describe what is happening to me. I told her something about being struck by nostalgia and some new ideas that needed reflexion time. Having said that, I was almost in tears, it hurt so much. I woke up  one morning of this week with this uncomfortable feeling that I absolutely have to change something in my life, that 'something' that bothers me for quite some time now. Just as I convinced myself  that the journey was over and that I can sit down now and live my 'happily ever after' life, everything came out. Everything that I tried so hard to hide from myself. And from those who know me. And from those who love me. I know what it is, I know exactly how I should do it, but I'll try to think it over this winter and then, if this burning longing for change is still there, I'll move in this direction.

  What you should know, my DH is in on that one and we are going to take this decision together like we did so many times before. I leave you today with a wonderful quote that sums so nicely my feelings at the moment:

Longing for one more journey

Murphy's law it is!

I'm still shaking, since yesterday evening... Remember my secret baking mission? And Murphy's law that I mentioned? Well, I shouldn't have! Cause everything went wrong. I think this mysterious mister Murphy decided to take up a challenge and to spend the evening with me just to see if he's able to do something mentionable. Well, he was. Yesterday afternoon, I spent quite some time writing the recipe down for the contest I was to enter. It had to be in French, the contest is taking place in Quebec/Canada. So I wanted to be sure to use all the appropriate words and to write clear instructions. Finally, towards 6 pm, i finished writing  my recipe and frankly, I was a bit exhausted. So I decided I was going to rest a bit with a cup of coffee before sending my recipe along with the photo via the web site form. What’s the rush, I had 6 hours before the closing of the contest. And I was pretty proud of myself and of my creation for this contest, that I so pretentiously named 'Choco Abricot Volcano':

Now tell me honestly, wouldn't you be proud and excited about it? I certainly was. It was arround 8h30 when I decided that it was time to take action toward winning the first prize. So I opened the webpage of the context and pushed the button that should open the inscription form. The page opened quite rapidly, but in place of  the inscription form a message of error was displayed. Can happen, nothing there... So I refreshed the page with a strange feeling in my gut. It didn't work again. That was only the beginning of the horrible evening that ended after midnight. I tried everything and with every browser possible - nada! Arround 11 o'clock I started to panic realising that Mr. Murphy was comfortably installed on my shoulder and I was only amusing him with my stubbornness. Than I taught of something: I saw the 'Contact us' link and I sent the message explaining the situation. Nothing happened, no one was there.

Shortly before midnight, I decided to take action and opened the 'Contact us' section again, I explained the situation and asked them to consider my application then I pasted the text of my recipe in the box and added the link to the picture of the cake in my Picassa web album and I sent it. At this point, Mr M. must have been tired and already in bed. I went to bed too. I was crushed...

Then this morning, as I opened my mail, I saw the message from the communication person of the company saying that she got my message and they're going to add my application to the contest!!! I was so happy and relieved at the same time. Not so Mr. Murphy. I suppose he was still around as I got the good news. He didn't like the fact that all his effort didn't work out in the end. So he started planning his revenge.

And here is how he did it: As I was about  to rearange the things arround my computer earlier this afternoon,  I kicked a cable accidentally and my brand new 7.0 mp camera fell in my huge cup full of hot coffee! I was speechless... I took it out allmost immediatly, but it was already completely soaked and coffee dripped slowly out of it as I held it in the air. I'll spare you all the other details, you can imagine how I felt. Nothing works anymore. Even my 4 G memory card that I took immediately out doesn't give a sign of life. And I had so many pictures of my projects for this blog on it...
I promise, I'll never mention Mr. M. on any of my posts again.

Murphy's law it is!

Power of Words - Words of Power

Sometimes I don't know what I'm getting myself into. Like today, I just wanted to talk about this cute little online gagdet that I discovered lately. Its name is Wordle  and you can create word clouds from any text or internet address you provide. This is what I got with the address of my blog:

And as I was thinking yesterday evening, trying to fall asleep, about writing this post I became aware of the importance and the power of words in our everyday's life. Rest assured, this is not the first time I thought about it, as I learned the hard way that words can leave emotional scars, sometimes for the rest of your life. Real power of words can transform life, help, inspire, heal or encourage but also can bless, make fear or angry. Any emotion can be inspired by words. They're not only words, they're powerful tools or even weapons. As I did a little research on the Internet I noticed that  I'm not alone preoccupied by this subject. Try to google 'power of words' and you'll see for yourself, so many people smarter than me said beautiful things about the power of words and about words of power - not the same thing at all. So I decided that instead of trying to say something new and smart about it, I'll bring up the inspiring quote by Marianne Williamson from her book: 'A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles'. To be honest with you, I never heard of this author before today but even if I'm not overly spiritual or religious, I found this words beautiful and comforting:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the Glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone, and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

I dedicate this post to my two lovely children.
Have a nice day!

Power of Words - Words of Power

My froggy's birthday

My bébé celebrated her birthday yesterday, a very important one for me, like every single birthday since the day I looked in her eyes for the very first time. I looooove being mom, especially her mom: she is so beautiful, loving, intelligent and strong. I dare to think that I helped a little making her that way (well, ok, her father contributed too...in so many loving ways). She now lives in the big city 300 km south of her nest. We drove this weekend to see and to hug her and to give her presents and of course her special birthday cake. Here is what it looked like:

And before you even ask me, here is the answer: the frog is sitting on the cake because I call her "froggy". Yes, I'd like to think that I'm a good mother but I admittedly call her names, in many different languages: frog, froggy, froggilein, frosch, grenouille, fröschlein, žaba, žabica...

I don't even remember why I gave her this nick name but we all love it!

We really managed to surprise her with this cake - she had tears in her eyes and she asked  What on earth did I do to deserve this?! Well, sometimes we ask ourselves too: What on earth did we do to deserve YOU?! We love you soooooo much, bébé!

To create this little frog I was inspired by the lovely book 50 Easy Party Cakes from Debbie Brown:

I don't know if the frog survived this weekend, I'll keep you posted on this one...

My froggy's birthday

His first Halloween costume ever

Would you believe that I am about to sew my first Halloween costume in my very long carrier as hobby sewer ? First of all, where I grew up, we didn't have this holiday at all ! Last week my coworker / friend asked me if I could sew a costume for her 3-year-old son Noah, she wanted to have something more original then things she can by in stores, especially for his FIRST Halloween costume EVER ! I almost jumped for joy ! Of course I will : I love kids, I love sewing, I love Halloween, I love creating stuff of all sorts...
So I send her some pictures with the propositions of costumes for which I have a pattern. She picked this one with her son:

 

This pictures are rather small, sorry, they are the only ones I have. The costume and the pattern are from the Spanish sewing magazine called Patrones, issue 34 from January 2006. Aren't they adorable ?! You really should see all the others too, soooo cute, incredible ! I can post some other pictures,  if you are interested just tell me.

Well, needless to say, I went RUNNING to the fabric store to find all the necessary material (as if I needed a reason to yet another trip to fabric heaven...). I'm so excited, here is what I found :

  I especially love the printed one, I am going to make that lovely Chinese hat from it. Well I love it so much I am going to create Halloween candy bag in form of a Chinese lantern. This is what I'm using as an inspiration :

What I didn't find is a decorative ribbon to sew around the seams of the costume. We don't have lots of choices in my city and I can't order on the Internet because of the time / cost factor. I have only 25 $ to spend for all the materials so I have to find a solution for the ribbon that costs less then 5 bucks ! Sigh... Would you happen to have any ideas on this ? I would be really grateful for any helping suggestion of yours...
I'll keep you posted on the advancement of this project, there are more pictures to come next week!

His first Halloween costume ever

Confession of an image junkie

I have a confession to make, I must share this secret with you : I am an IMAGE JUNKIE ! Those of you who suffer from the same addiction know what I am talking about... My computer is full with pictures, thousands of them, heck, tens of thousands of all sorts of pictures found on the Internet. I love them dearly, I save them, organize them, watch them for inspiration, or just so, because they are beautiful and they can lift my mood any time ! I organize them in folders (or at least I try to...) by interest : deco, toys, craft, vintage, sewing etc. I am especially flabbergasted by so many talented girls out there, from all over the world, who share they talent with as others, less courageous to show off our work. Thank you all, girls !

My family mocks me about this addiction of mine, but, nonetheless, they bought me a brand new computer with loooooots of storage space for my little darlings - did I say that I love them ?

What about you ? Do you have the same (no, I won't say "problem") hobby ? Tell me about it !

Confession of an image junkie

My finger in the ocean

I would like to share with you the journey from house to home, stories from my life, my little and big loves...

My finger in the ocean