My Heart is Overflowing

This is a thing I rarely admit to anyone: I love people. Just like that, people in my everyday life or even people I read about. I so love people who are nice to others and to the world in general, who made a discovery benefiting to the humanity or who just help an old women cross the street, those who make us laugh I love dearly and those, men AND women, who are able to give an uplifting compliment to every women they know, hence to every human being they know - we all need it. I have this thing, this moment when I feel my heart overflowing with love and joy and in some of this situations I have to restrain myself from hugging people around me.

Now don't get me wrong, I've been hurt by people and I suffered but I forget easily and I simply am not able to hate - I'm so happy about it!

I too love doing nice things for people around me. Just last week I made some "faux" cupcakes for the birthday of a young girl I work with. I bought brownies but I decorated them with cheese frosting and colorful sugar sprinkles. Everybody loved them, but there was a young girl who is allergic to peanuts and she couldn't eat them, didn't want to take a chance with bought brownies. So I decided to make it up to her and I baked  cupcakes myself, decorated them exactly like those brownies before and brought them to her in the beginning of this week. She was flabbergasted! She couldn't believe I've made those especially for her. I got a big hug and she was so happy, she even called her mom and her friends to tell them about it.

But to tell you the truth, I'm the one who has gotten the most from it: one of those priceless moments that fill your hearth with joy...

My Heart is Overflowing

Not Completely Frozen Yet

Since my last post the time has passed in a blink of an eye. I was hit by the train at full speed, or so it felt, and I'm still gasping for air. Everything happened so quickly and I found myself in a completely new work environment, with new people and new challenges. This was what I wanted for a long time but when I finally got there it was like I wasn't ready for it. I started to feel some kind of weird resistance in my gut and my whole body turned against this "newness". I'll be honest with you, I never ever felt something like this, I was always up for a challenge. In fact, earlier in my life, any challenge would give me strength and motivation to fight and to work hard in order to achieve my goal. This time was very different. It was almost like I had enough of challenges in my life, I couldn't take it any more. Completely new experience...

Four weeks later, things are going better but I still can't get rid of this weird feeling. It may sound weird to you, but I rarely did things for myself, because I wanted it for ME - it was usually for my family, for my children or for any other reason. This last decision was not different. And this is exactly the thing I have to change, the time has come. Happily, I'll have ten days off for Christmas. Enough time to think things through but also to enjoy beautiful white Christmas in the city of Quebec...

Not Completely Frozen Yet

Where I'm Coming From

I have been blogging since last September more or less regularly (hey, I forgot the first blogoversary!). My preoccupations changed from one post to another but one thing keeps bothering me throughout this experience. I feel like I'm keeping a very big secret from you. Actually, I am. I did mention little things here and there but I never gave you the whole picture. I'm talking about my "Forrest Gump" life experience. I think I'm ready now to let you know more about me and my family.

Image source : http://littlehouseinparadise.blogspot.com

 My fellow blogger Zhu made a nice interview with me some time ago and so, instead of writing everything once again here, I invite you to go over to her wonderful blog and read her post.

P.S. Sherri, I didn't ask for permission to use your image, hope you're ok with it. I simply couldn't resist, it reminded me of things my mother used to make when she was young.

Where I'm Coming From

Owning My Time

Why is it we don't appreciate what we have until it's gone? Like some people around us, time for ourselves or youth? Sigh, don't let me even started on the last one...
Today I wanted to share with you a wonderful article written by Mary Schmich for Chicago Tribune in June 1997. I wish I new some (or all!) of this things when I was 20 year old!

 Never to late to learn some things, though...here it goes:

"Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young
Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who'd rather be Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates.

I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt.Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen."

Send this to EVERY young women you know, they'll  thank you one day.

Owning My Time

Happy Birthday to Me !

One thing is clear: a normal person wouldn't jump for joy seeing so many candles on the cake. There, I said it! But I started to see things differently several years ago when my good friend lost her husband suddenly. He was just about my age. Ever since then I have been seeing my birthdays differently. Each year on my birthday I think to myself: “He hasn't  had a chance to be my age.” Those moments make me feel very grateful and I appreciate life even more knowing that every moment of it is a gift. And everything that happened to me, good and bad, is a gift too. This is my life and I finally am able to embrace it in it's greatness. No, I'm not getting all spiritual on you, but there was a moment (or two) when I refused to accept that this is my life - because I had it planned differently long time ago. George Bernard Shaw said: “Forget about likes and dislikes. They are of no consequence. Just do what must be done. This may not be happiness but it is greatness.” Story of my life.

Finally, of what importance is the number of years, it's just a number. It's what you pack inside those years that counts. Let me tell you one thing:  I've got enough material for two or maybe even three lives. It's not that I have chosen to do so, life simply happened to me. And love. And pain. And joy. And change. And disappointment. And happiness. Life is the greatest teacher. And love is the greatest gift. I'm fortunate enough to have three loves of my life. I just spoke to one of them, he called me from England to wish me happy birthday. I miss him very much. The other is arriving any moment from Montreal to celebrate with me. I can't wait. And the one who was there first, responded to my question: "Do you think you can still be romantic?" with these:

Happy Birthday to Me !

Good News / Bad News

The worst news first: my computer is dead. I'm writing this post on my DH's (very slow) laptop. One week ago, I found my computer with the dreaded "blue screen of death" but I was able to resuscitate it. The same happened a couple more times in the last week but then suddenly nothing, it wouldn't boot at all, I could only see the "No signal" message on my screen. My computer was rather new, fast and reliable, that's the reason why I didn't make any backup yet. Everything is on it: personal documents, family pictures from the last decade, tons of things I love...how can one be so stupid? There is a saying in French: "Il ne faut pas mettre tous les œufs dans le même panier." I think it's the same in English: "Don't Put All Your Eggs In One Basket". Well, I did. Luckily, I had purchased an additional two year warranty  for peanuts (my son would call me stupid if he new, he worked in this business). I’m not a big believer in buying extended warranties, so I usually pass whenever I’m asked, but boy was I happy I didn't this time!

I already knew how much I depend on my computer to do everything, but I didn't know I would panic this much just thinking I could loose it! It's ridiculous, I was feeling as if I was missing an arm... I'm telling you, go ahead, help yourself and take my washer and dryer, my dishwasher, my vacuum cleaner - I'll do anything by hand - but, please, please, pretty please: leave my computer and my Internet alone! And I wasn't even born in the new tech generation...

Anyway, I brought my computer yesterday to the repair service. The young man there must have thought I was crazy but he was very patient with me. And here is the good news about the bad news: as he finally checked the hard drive, he found that all the data are there and can be saved! The problem is apparently with the hardware. Just to be sure, I took the option to transfer my data on the external hard drive before repairing anything. Phew!

I'll have my data probably tomorrow but the repair of my computer could take up to two weeks. I'm patient.

And I saved the best for last: I finally got a job I wanted! Phew - again! I started last week, I'll tell you more about it soon.

Good News / Bad News

My Magic Shoes

They're not red and they're not new. The story about these shoes goes back all the way to 1992. It was the first pair of shoes I bought upon arriving in Munich, Germany. I needed something very comfortable for long walks. This pair of Rieker shoes was just incredibly comfortable, very flexible, made from soft hazelnut brown leather with a buckle on the side. Not my style at all, but, although normally rather expensive,  they were reduced by 70% because one buckle was detached. I new I could sew it back on so I bought them. They served me well, my feet were very happy and light in them and they took me places...

When we left Germany for Canada  in 1998, I must have thrown them in one of the bags and so they moved to another continent with me. I wore them a couple more times but soon they started looking old and really worn out. Somehow I couldn't bring myself to throw them away and so they lived on quietly in a dark corner of my entry closet.

Then one day I was reading an article on FlyLady about effective house cleaning and she said you should put your shoes on  when doing chores. This tip really picked my curiosity and I wanted to try this method and see if it makes a difference. When I started looking for a pair of shoes to use I found my old, comfortable Riekers again. And it made a difference. I felt more stable, I was stronger and faster. From then on, I didn't put my old shoes on every time I had to clean but I thought of them when I had an incredible amount of things to do at home and very little time. I was always under the impression that, with these shoes on, I was able to accomplish such an amount of chores in very little time that I myself was in awe... I started to call them "My Magic Shoes". Soon my husband started to notice the ginormous positive effect of these old shoes on my speed and my mood. He loved the change so much that he himself suggested often: "Why don't you put those magic shoes of yours on?" 

 I can't believe I have an 18-year-old pair of shoes that I still use! They're barely holding together, but I'm pretty sure that they can't be easily replaced by any pair of shoes - they must be very special. They are my very special old magic shoes.

My Magic Shoes